“I’m F***ed, Aren’t I?” — One Drunk Driver's 999 Call That Said Everything

Drink driving case dismissed Dublin | Judges and the Public Sector

Let me tell you a story about 'John'

John was a public service employee who went out one night, drank and drove. John crashed his car. The wheel came off. The car was a write off.

He was arrested for drink driving and brought to the station. He gave a urine specimen that was nearly 4 times the limit.

But before all that John rang 999 to report the accident.

The Gardai seized the 999 call audio recording and played it in court.

It's one of those very rare cases where the defendant has called the Gardai on themselves.

He was drunk. He called for help.

And what unfolded next is something that should make every driver in Ireland pause.

Because the scariest thing is—he sounds like someone you know.

Maybe even someone like you.

Here's an exact transcription of the call:

________________

-Hello Gardai, go ahead.

-Hello, can you hear me? My name is John and I’m at the M1 by Applegreen. My car…I crashed my car near Balbriggan. Its, its broke up.

-Is anyone injured?

-[pause] No, no its grand, it’s just my car is smashed up. I don’t know what to do really. I [inaudible]

-What did you crash into?

-[pause] Honestly, I think there’s a pole down there. It’s just…it was that quick…you know I changed gear into the wrong gear [laughs] too quick. Ahhh, the fucking pole is down. Sorry bud. I don’t even mean [inaudible]

He’s still half-laughing here. Still trying to maybe shrug it off.

Still not ready to admit what’s really going on.

But reality is beginning to dawn.

-John what’s your surname?

- [provides surname] I’m in [provides Civil Service employment details]. The whole pole is down…[inaudible]

-John, your date of birth?

- [provides, inaudible]

-Have you been drinking?

-No, no, no, of course not no. Just the fucking-

-John, your words sound slurred on the line.

-Excuse me?

-Your words sound-

-No, sorry, its just a man…[inaudible voice of other person] The man is here next to me. Taxi man.

-Right

-[inaudible talking to taxi man] one of my wheels is on the floor. Ahhh-

-John?

-I’m alright, the car is on the floor to the left of the road-

-[patiently] John?

-Yeah?

-Have you been drinking?

-No.

"Have you been drinking?

-No, no, no, of course not no. Just the fucking-

-John, your words sound slurred on the line.

-Excuse me?"

-You know they’re going to send someone out, you know that, with a breathalyser?

-[pause] Yeah, I was about two hours ago

-[quietly] You have been drinking. Ok

-Yeah, about three hours ago.

-You’re in [public sector employment]?

-Yeah.

-Where are you based?

-[exhales, gives details of imminent employment advancement]

-Ok, one second there now

-I’m [gives detail of employment pay grade]

-Just to let you know these calls are recorded alright?

-Yeah, well, I’m fucked regardless aren’t I?

-One second [recording details of call]

- Jesus Christ.

There it is.

The laugh’s gone. The excuses are gone. It hits him.

He’s not going to get away with it.

And it’s not just about drink driving now—it’s about everything else: job, career, reputation, future.

Now its fear.

-Is anyone injured John?

-No.

-[calmly] Are you ok?

-Yeah, I’m ok, I’m outside the car. I, ahh, I just don’t want anyone else getting hurt to be honest. The [inaudible] outside, the sign is down…yeah, yeah, ummm, fucking hell, yeah, the car…I don’t know what to do bud.

-One second, hold on. Is your car all over the place, is it?

-Yeah the car is fucked bud, yeah. The car might as well as wrote off.

-John what’s your Eircode where you live?

-I don’t know but I can give you my home address?

- Yeah give us your home address.

-[provides address]

-Where were you coming from John?

-I was coming from Donaghmede coming to Balbriggan, kind of.

-Ok so you’re just outside Applegreen there?

-Yeah.

-No one’s injured, you’re fine-

-Yeah

-Did you crash into an electrical poll by any chance?

-No, kind of a sign.

-Do you need an ambulance do you think? Are you in a bit of shock?

-No I just want to know am I going to lose me job?

-John, what’s the reg of your car?

-[provides registration number]

-What has you out drinking and driving?

-I was at a party with one of my friends, I ended up collecting a girl getting in the car and driving.

-Is the girl in the car with you?

-No, no, no just myself. No one is in the car. Just me…like a p****

That line really says it all.

You'd be surprised just how quick people sober up when they're talking to Gardai.

He’s not angry at anyone else.

He knows he did it.

And he hates himself for it.

-Stay away from the road, stay off the side of the road. Sit down and take it easy.

-I’m going to prison aren’t I?

-Look, don’t be worrying. The Guards will come out and have a chat with you alright?

-Please, just tell the truth. I'm going to prison right?

-You haven’t killed anyone have you? You haven’t crashed into anyone. You haven’t killed anyone, have you?

-No.

-No, so its not the end of the world.

-But I…I’m…I’m gone aren’t I? Please, just tell…oh fucking hell…

-John, John, relax

-You know what the gas thing is? You know what the gas thing is? I didn’t drink that much.

-The main thing, the main thing here John is that you’re ok. You haven’t been seriously hurt. You know what I mean?

-No I’m not hurt. The car is bad. The car is bad.

-Is it on fire or anything like that? Is there smoke coming from the vehicle?

-No, you know [laughs] somebody else would probably lie to you, but it’s bad yeah?

-Ok

-Like, the right side of it is lumped off, the right driver door. And do you know what the gas thing is? It only passed the test and, fucking…I just had to act the hard man didn’t I?

-Look the main thing John is that you’re not hurt alright? That’s the main thing to take out of this you know?

"You know what the gas thing is?

You know what the gas thing is?

I didn’t drink that much"

-I don’t think the [public sector employer] is going to appreciate that

-Look, you can cross that bridge when you come to it. The main thing is that you’re alright. That’s the main thing you know? Do you need an ambulance to check you out do you think?

-No, no I’m alright.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah. I jumped out of the car straightaway.

-You don’t have any neck pain, or back pain, or anything like that?

-No, just ego, just ego.

You can hear the shame in his voice

This isn’t just a call to emergency services.

It’s a man confessing.

Unravelling.

Pleading with someone—anyone—to tell him it’s not over.

But the truth is: it might be.

If he’s convicted, he’ll lose his licence.

And right here he knows that will be dismissed from his job.

-Ok just relax alright? I’ll get someone out to help you alright?

-Ahhh...

-And you were travelling along with no one else in the vehicle?

-No, no one else. Just me…[alarm starts to ring]. You can hear my car going off?

-Yeah.

-All the airbags are gone off on the side.

-And the taximan is stopped talking to you is he?

-Yeah but he went. He’s gone.

-He’s gone?

-Because my tyre, I don’t even know where I hit. To be honest right, it wasn’t as if I was going fast and furious up the road. Whatever my…I don’t know I think it might be my left wheel hit, it kind of swung me off the road and I just obviously [inaudible] control myself.

"I’m going to prison aren’t I?

-Look, don’t be worrying. The Guards will come out and have a chat with you alright?

-Please, just tell the truth. I'm going to prison right?

-You haven’t killed anyone have you? You haven’t crashed into anyone. You haven’t killed anyone, have you?

-No.

-No, so its not the end of the world.

-But I…I’m…I’m gone aren’t I? Please, just tell…oh fucking hell…

-John, John, relax"

-Ok

-Whatever me back left…whatever me back left hit…me boot, Jesus…[inaudible]

-Just stay away from the car, stay off the road, because if your car is on the road, you’re on the road. So stay away from the car, just sit at the side of the road and just take it easy. Just relax there ok? I’ll get someone out to assist ya ok?

-Yeah.

-Alright?

-Thank you. Bye bye.

-Will you be alright yeah?

-[pause]

-No?

-Yeah I will be

-You’ll be alright sitting at the side of the road yeah?

-Yeah.

-No worries, look if you need an ambulance stay on the line and ask for the ambulance service. If you’re ok, just chill out there and we’ll get someone out to you alright?

-Alright thank you, bye.

-Good man, cheers. Thanks

________________

What happened in court?

John was acquitted.

Judges inherently like public sector employees, and they feel sorry for those charged with these types of offences in court.

They'll never admit that publicly of course but it's the truth.

Maybe this has something to do with judges interacting with public service employees every day in the course of work e.g. Gardai, Courts Service personnel, Prison Officers, HSE staff etc.

Maybe it's got to do with the fact that public sector employees have to deal with the worst elements of society every day on behalf of the rest of us.

These are good people, so when they have "a slip" this may be more easily forgiven than for others. You might be annoyed by that but that is a reality.

"Judges inherently like public sector employees,

and they feel sorry for those charged with these types of offences in court.

They'll never admit that publicly of course but it's the truth.

Maybe it's got to do with the fact that public sector employees

have to deal with the worst elements of society every day

on behalf of the rest of us"

But whatever it is most judges don't like convicting public service employees, because they know that a conviction for something like drink driving leads to the end of their job.

I have represented quite a few across the country over the years.

I have never lost a trial yet.

Does a person deserve to lose their job because of a drink driving conviction?

Of course not.

__________________

If You’ve Been in John's Shoes — Or Might Be

Don’t wait until your own panic sets in.

If you’ve been arrested for drink driving, don’t guess.

Don’t hope. Hope is not a strategy.

Don’t assume you’re doomed either.

Every case turns on legal details—what was said, what was done, how the evidence was taken.

The State has to prove everything, beyond a reasonable doubt.

You only need to show one thing: that they didn’t.

Let’s start there.

After all, it’s the choice between going off the road or driving home.

And everybody wants to drive home.

In the next article I'll explain just why John was acquitted and the important legal defence point that he successfully raised.